Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
