i think i have herpe
just one?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
