so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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