I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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