Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
