are you so shy because you have an std?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
