my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
