I would go down on you faster than GM stock
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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