Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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