So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I think I sprained my soul last night
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
