My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
