perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
