Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
