That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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