he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
