my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
