i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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