do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
