Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
