Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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