why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
