Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm at about main and main street
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
