dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Randomize
