i'm lost and i look like a hooker
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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