Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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