i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
