Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
