I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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