you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
