It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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