I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
