DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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