There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
no you cant smoke seaweed
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
