it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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