its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Sober January is a disaster.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
