hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
