Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
