Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
are you so shy because you have an std?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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