i just google imaged poop.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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