Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
