____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
