I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
