I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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