Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
