My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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