I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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