Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
