clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
