I'm pants shitting drunk right now
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
