I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
