its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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