Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
