all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
