nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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